Tough Love: The Reality of Long Distance Relationships

To say that long distance relationships are hard is an understatement. I would know for sure, as I’ve been in one for over two years now. If you’re ever wondering what it’s really like, I took the liberty of interviewing my own boyfriend, TJ, to share his personal take on the matter. I opened up the idea to him, and to my surprise, he indulged me.Β I think he was just really excited to get featured on my blog. HAHA. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

About TJ

Born and raised in Massachusetts, TJ is a die-hard Star Wars and Led Zeppelin fan. He’s a real badass when it comes to word games. He’s quirky and funny, and he never runs out of things to say. He’s got the perfect blue in his eyes, and he doesn’t even know it. He’s stubborn, a certified snugglebug, a caffeine addict, and a one-of-a-kind pain in the butt.

Let’s see what he has to say about our long distance relationship and LDRs in general.Β Spoiler alert: Might contain cheese in various forms. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚Β 

1. When and where did you two meet?

We met November 5, 2014 on Words with Friends during random gameplay. She invited me to play, messaged me and said hi. She was the one who made the first move. *grins*

2. Would you say it was “love at first sight” when you met her or was it the “developing” type? How would you describe it?

I would say both because the immediate attraction was there, I won’t deny it. I fell in love right at the beginning when we exchanged messages and phone calls. Then when I saw her for the first time on video, I was like, “Whoa, I didn’t expect that.” I was just overwhelmed by her beauty. From there, it developed into a greater love and now, as I recall it, it had always been more than puppy love. It was and is the real thing.

3. What would you say is the biggest challenge of being in a long-distance relationship?

I think the biggest challenge is not being able to touch each other in person. Touch is very important in a relationship and the fact that we are deprived of this need because of distance makes our set-up really painful and oftentimes, aggravating.

4. What would you say is your favorite thing about being in a long-distance relationship?

My favorite thing about being in a long-distance relationship is being able to embrace a new culture. She lives in the Philippines and I, the United States, and apparently, our ways of life differ. Being with her has made me realize that in as much as we are alike in a lot of things, we also have palpable differences such as the food we eat and the language we speak. She has inspired me to learn Filipino and without her, I tell you, I wouldn’t have bothered. *laughs*

Β 5. Has being in this kind of relationship helped you as a person? In what way/s?

Being in this relationship has given me a brand new perspective on love. It has helped me grow as a person, it has taught me the value of waiting and patience. It’s true what they say, “Good things come to those who wait,” and I believe she’s worth all the time and effort. Our phone calls are the only thing we have right now. It’s sad, yes, but we both understand that we have our own lives to live. She works, I work, and we have this 12-hour time difference. It sucks but whatever time we have, we take it, no matter how little, and we make the most of it.


6. Long-distance relationships are commonly frowned upon. How do you deal with it when people say you’re being a fool for choosing a long-distance relationship over a conventional one?

Life is nothing without risk. She is a good woman and I believe that in my heart. It doesn’t matter if she is living faraway or if she is my next door neighbor. What I’m getting at is, distance doesn’t matter. It’s the quality of the relationship we have.

7. Would you say it’s better being in this type of relationship? Why or why not?

That’s a difficult question and there really is no right or wrong answer to this. All I can say is, the quality of a relationship is never determined by its form or type. It depends on the people involved, and how they make things work for them. There is no guarantee that domestic relationships are better. A lot of them fail, just like long-distance relationships. At the end of the day, it boils down to how much effort a couple is willing to put in, in order to make a relationship healthy, fun, and exciting.

8. Last question, what’s the most important advice you can give to people who are in long-distance relationships?

Two things. First, don’t give up. Long-distance relationships are sure as hell difficult and heartbreaking. There will be days when you will break down to tears and wonder how and why it’s all hard. You may feel like quitting but you have to remember not to give up on the relationship. Never give up on the person. Never give up on love. Always try to see it through. Nothing is ever impossible in the name of love. Second, work together as a team. Establish a common goal, that is, to get together. Focus all your energy into the fulfillment of this desire. Work until distance becomes history, and you two are able to live your own happy ever after. πŸ˜‰

So there it is guys! To be honest, he and I share the same sentiments and I’m almost certain that anyone who has been and who is in a long-distance relationship right now would very much understand where this is all coming from. TJ and I have been through a lot of ups and downs. Distance sure makes the heart grow fonder, but it doesn’t get easier especially when the yearning turns to frustration and the latter translates to tension. If you ask me how we managed to stay together, I guess it was because we both understood the imperfection of our situation. We worked our way through disagreements and made conscious efforts to stay in touch and really, really talk about things that bother us, scare us, and those that make us happy altogether.

I’d love to hear your insights about long-distance relationships. If you’re in one right now or have been in one on the past, I’d love to hear from you. Leave them comments below!

See you around lovebirds,Β 



Author: heartinanutshell

Neri is a twenty-something who loves to write about her interests, which include food and travel, to name a few. She is a registered nurse by profession; a dark chocolate and strawberry addict; sunflower lover; sappy rom-com and YA fiction fanatic who's happily in love with TJ, her best friend-slash-pain in the butt boyfriend. 😊

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